Today hasn't been the greatest of days for me, I haven't felt particularly motivated, or indeed been very productive. And, I think, reluctant though I am to say it, I think I'm missing home. I spoke to my mother on the phone earlier on, and she was feeling both enthused and upset about the prospect of my little brother going off to another University open day at the weekend. He's eighteen now, which is insane, and is off to Uni next September.
My little bro is definitely the one with the brains in our siblingship! He's academic and smart and has quite a lot of common sense. Enough to make sure he's always stayed out of trouble, anyway. I am so proud of him, as is our whole family, but he is the apple of my mother's eye, and his leaving home is going to affect her greatly. We have a somewhat odd homelife. It's very difficult to explain and I don't really want to put all my families deep dark secrets out here for any ol' Tom, Dick or Harry to read! But the way my mum handles her life is by keeping my brother close. She gives him anything, does anything for him, because it's the only way she knows of to keep him with her, and he'll be leaving next September. I wonder if she'll remain positive, be pleased that he's making his own way in the world, or if she'll crumble. I hope she holds it together. I desperately hope this. I realised today that we have such little time remaining, the four of us in one house together. This Christmas, and next summer, and that'll be it. I'll never live in the same house as my baby brother again. This hit me quite hard.
I've been missing my friends today, as well, I speak to my best friend every day, not about anything important, just discussing our days activities, TV shows, films, food etc etc, and I just miss not being at home and being able to just drop around to her house and talk about these things in person. Another friend is just beginning a new relationship, and I want to be there so she can tell me all the little details, but instead she tells me over Facebook, and it's just not quite the same.
I didn't think I would miss home at all this semester, I suppose I don't - not really - I just miss the people. I don't miss the arguments and tension that often resides in our house at home, but I miss my little brother, and I miss my friends beyond words. I'll be back home in a couple of weeks for a few days and in that time I'll be seeing everyone I love so I just have to look forward to that whenever I feel down.
It's quite therapeutic to type these thoughts out, so I hope I'll revisit this blog again soon!
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